I wanted to call this 'time flies'... but that's too cliche, so now 'time has wings' I guess.
It's so very true.
time has wings and it's flying fast! I mean so fast!
I wish I could make it walk, or crawl, or maybe just sit...
Of course, I miss everyone in the states. Sometimes I would die just to hug my friends or sit at the kitchen counter with my parents. I'd love to see family in Michigan and ride the four-wheeler with my brothers or worship and chat with my church family at New Life.
Sometimes I wish I had a car when it's pouring rain or when the sleet/snow rained down this winter.
I often miss places like the path next to my house, the forest behind it, a specific walking trail in Winneconne, a friend's backyard or pond and a certain craft store (eh em- Hobby Lobby :).
But some days, (something between 'some' and 'most' if I'm being honest) I can't bear to part with this place. My heart aches months too soon for the people and places I will have to leave. Tears have never come so easily in my life because something really cool happens when you make connections. I dearly hope and pray YOU know what that feels like too -to truly love people and places! I think you do.
Foreign exchange has shown me this, but I think it can be found in a lot of other places too: Loving is painful. But beautifully so. Nothing has shown me this like having a host sister and then becoming one.
It's better to have loved and be broken than to never have loved at all.
My fellow American friends and I remind ourselves of this often whenever someone mentions the count-down to day left in our beloved Banja Luka.
Or something to that effect, anyway.
I'm sure a lot of other people have and will experience this in much deeper, harder ways (and I probably will again), but it's so so true no matter what scale or situations you are using to measure. And from this, I've learned two things I thought would be worth sharing...
Live in the moment (hey, look! another cliche phrase that turns out to be really true!)
I came to a moment, crying in my bedroom one night, that I did not want to taste all this bitterness months early. I could acknowledge the pain I knew was coming, but I didn't to drown in it. I wanted to capture each and every moment left and leave the sadness for the twelve-hour flight ahead of me. So try, just try and live in right now. In the next twenty minutes. Look up and see the beauty around you, even if it's raining and even if you're tired, and even if you'd rather be weeks (or months or years) ahead (or behind) of where you are right now.
2. "We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize..." - Hebrews 4:15
I hope one day I will stop being surprised when Jesus shows up in my life through scripture, peace, with His spirit, people, or anything else. Because He does. He's a God who wants to keep showing up. Usually, we are just not patient or quiet enough to see it. During one of my "another-episode-of-Sophie-crying-in-her-room," Jesus plainly brought a verse I had memorized several months back to the forefront of my mind. It was persistant and it said, "Sophie, you have a high priest who can sympathize." Sophie, I can sympathize. In that moment my mind's eye played a scene (one I don't think is usually given much thought). Jesus walked and ate and gathered and corrected and traveled and preached and performed miracles and taught and prayed for 12 men for three years. He chose them and loved them and lived among them...
and left them.
He fulfilled the greatest act in the history (and future) of mankind. He came down from Heaven and died for YOU. For humanity. So that we have direct access to the Throneroom of Grace, a direct opportunity for a personal relationship with our Creator. And then He left earth to be with His Father in Heaven.
In that tearful moment, He held me in His presence and told me it was gonna be okay. That my whole life might be long-distance friendships, but He knew and He cared and He would never leave me.
And He won't leave you.
Romans 10:13
*heart emoji*
- Sophie
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